foolfillment: the blog


On Glasgow

8:29 pm on the 7th of March, 2004

It’s a bit rubbish, living in Glasgow that is, when you consider it all. There are good bits but when it comes down to it, it’s a city which is always going to be a bad thing in my book and it’s not even a very good city. Sure there are good bits, the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and the University building and the riverside are all quite nice to look at, untill you look at the surroundig area and people.

It’s the people I object to most of all. You always about how friendly and kind they are but it’s just a lie, the people are, almost without exception, all horrible, evil, diseased, antagonistic cretins. Even the dogs are unfriendly and blank you in the street.

And they’re damn rude too.

What always happens to me in shops I don’t know is I wait and wait and finally have it kindly pointed out to me that I’m not being served because I’m waiting to be served by a manikin. It doesn’t get pointed out to you in Glasgow unless you’re in someone’s way, in which case you get a walking stick in the back of your knee and an umbrella smacked against your head. I digress…

Today in the chemist, when I was picking up the grease for my skin that I told you all about, I asked a guy if he was in the queue so that the same embarrasing episode wouldn’t occur yet again. And so began a scene not disimilar to one in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Stuart : “Excuse me, is this the queue?”
Weedgie Twunt* : Silence
S : “Excuse me?”
WT : Silence, looks other way
S : (raises voice) “I was just wondering, Excuse me? HELLO”
WT : grunts and generally looks diseased and contagious
S : Gives up and makes towards the counter
WT : Blocks S’s path, (says something indeciferable and probably actually much more foul mouthed than this but as I said it was undeciferable) “NONE SHALL PASS”
S : “Oh, sorry, but I did ask, are you in the queue then?”
WT : Silence
S : (muttering under breath) “Right then, nice of you to say, lovely day isn’t it?” makes towards counter again
WT : Makes to crack S’s head open with bottle of Buckie before realising there are two people available at the counter.

Useless twunt.

*Twunt being used courtesy of Scaryduck in order to make this page suitable for my Mum

Comments

  1. city_slacker

    I may be a bit late here but having resided in the second city of the Empire I must interject and stand up for the Weedge.

    There are some areas of radgery that are best avoided: Easterhouse, Castelmulk and the Boots queue when its the Methadone dole out time. There are some highlights however- I used to enjoy the Glasgow Film Theatre, Acoustic Night on Tuesdays in the otherwise best avoided Nice N Sleazys, curry at Mother India and beers on Ashton Lane.

    Lets face it; it beats the Anglicised east?
    Where abouts are you staying Stuart?

  2. Stuart

    First I should say that this was written towards the end of last term when I’d been full of the cold for the last two weeks and had been on my lonesome for ages because of my flatmate being at home in Aberdeen with a broken leg and my girlfriend busty studying and not really ably to send much time with me, so the general thing was me feeling tired and hating almost everything I had contact with. I wrote a couple of posts that perhaps were a little harsh.

    I do like Glasgow but I’m easily aggravated by little things. like losers who ignore everything going on around them.

    Lets face it; it beats the Anglicised east?

    Nope, dont’s agree with you, although I’ve never lived in Edinburgh and I realise it’s misery during the Festival but I still prefer it. My general feeling is that the sooner I get to live in a wee hamlet or smaller with a beach to walk the dog along everyday, the better. Cities are bad.

    Where abouts are you staying Stuart?

    Knightswood, its quite far out from Uni but near my girlfriend and has good buses, it is though flooded with houses all the same and people who are utterly unable to return a simple ‘morning!’ when you walk past.

  3. Trackbacks/Pings

      Leave a Reply

      Add a link to your comment