foolfillment: the blog

I’ve been busy, kind of. Not very important things but things none the less. I am now on holiday for the next threee weeks and I should have some more time to put down some thoughts here but that all depends of course on me having any thoughts worth talking about, or indeed having any thoughts.

So, I have three weeks to fill, who wants to give me a job? Maybe I could do proof reading, that always seems like an easy job, any publishers out there? Or dog walking? What about testing out beds? Or televisions? Or both?

Offers in the comments please.

No matter how hard they try to convince people otherwise, Glasgow will always be a city riddled with poverty and horrible people looking for a fight, and as far as this quote goes :

They can claim him all they like, his stuff was rubbish, in my opinion at least. His buildings were okay, but nothing special and the stuff he put in them was dirty and cluttered looking. I find it funny that people buy Mackintosh style things nowadays, they seem to only be able to justify it by saying ‘oh, but it’s Mackintosh, it must be good’ Another example of people taken in by popular opinion, if I were to get a few people extolling the virtues of having a pile of dung in the middle of kitchens then it wouldn’t take long before people started following the lead. Gah, I hate people, they’re all stupid.

Apart from feeling absolutely binged up with the cold, as I have been for the whole week, I’ve been playing with my new toy which arrived today. The problem now is thought that I’ve been playing with it too much for the battery to get anywhere near fully charged. It seems alright though and I don’t think there’s any problems with it other than needing a new backup battery which shouldn’t cost more than a couple of quid.

From tomorrow I hopefully won’t need my paper diary ever again. That’s if I can get over the sef conscious thing of thinking I look like a flash git.

I quite like argueing, it’s instinctive for me to vocalise any disagreement I may have with what people say. It seems o2 like argueing too because they say things that I disagree with. Everytime I have any contact with them.

I have a tariff which (according to o2) meant I could send an infinite amount of text messages, or a third of an infinite amount of media messages, or a combiniation of the two. I didn’t have anyopne to send media messages to untill recently but I do now and when I tried to I found that I can’t. The problem you see (according to o2, fancy that!) is that my tariff doesn’t allow me to send media messages.

However, they don’t bother telling you this when you download the settings from their website, you see, on the website you enter your phone number to see if your tariff and phone are compatible. My tariff and phone are compatible (according to o2) so there should be no problem, but there is. The problem being o2 are useless. Utterly useless and incompetant and on the whole they just smell a bit of poo.

And they irritate me and make me want to argue with them and hit them with a big stick and so, because I like a good arguement most of the time, their totally inept support services actually help me to enjoy myself.

A particular favourite line from the most recent email : “O2 Online endeavour to resolve your query on your initial contact and “Get It Right”. If we have failed to attain the high standards we set for ourselves please reply to this email”

What terrifyingly high standards they set for their staff?! No wonder they’re useless, they’re completely petrified of not achiveing the high standards that they cannot do anything as a result.

The battle continues.

It’s a bit rubbish, living in Glasgow that is, when you consider it all. There are good bits but when it comes down to it, it’s a city which is always going to be a bad thing in my book and it’s not even a very good city. Sure there are good bits, the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and the University building and the riverside are all quite nice to look at, untill you look at the surroundig area and people.

It’s the people I object to most of all. You always about how friendly and kind they are but it’s just a lie, the people are, almost without exception, all horrible, evil, diseased, antagonistic cretins. Even the dogs are unfriendly and blank you in the street.

And they’re damn rude too.

What always happens to me in shops I don’t know is I wait and wait and finally have it kindly pointed out to me that I’m not being served because I’m waiting to be served by a manikin. It doesn’t get pointed out to you in Glasgow unless you’re in someone’s way, in which case you get a walking stick in the back of your knee and an umbrella smacked against your head. I digress…

Today in the chemist, when I was picking up the grease for my skin that I told you all about, I asked a guy if he was in the queue so that the same embarrasing episode wouldn’t occur yet again. And so began a scene not disimilar to one in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Stuart : “Excuse me, is this the queue?”
Weedgie Twunt* : Silence
S : “Excuse me?”
WT : Silence, looks other way
S : (raises voice) “I was just wondering, Excuse me? HELLO”
WT : grunts and generally looks diseased and contagious
S : Gives up and makes towards the counter
WT : Blocks S’s path, (says something indeciferable and probably actually much more foul mouthed than this but as I said it was undeciferable) “NONE SHALL PASS”
S : “Oh, sorry, but I did ask, are you in the queue then?”
WT : Silence
S : (muttering under breath) “Right then, nice of you to say, lovely day isn’t it?” makes towards counter again
WT : Makes to crack S’s head open with bottle of Buckie before realising there are two people available at the counter.

Useless twunt.

*Twunt being used courtesy of Scaryduck in order to make this page suitable for my Mum

I finally managed to get one, a PDA for next-to-no money on ebay, having given up a few months ago, I had a wee look today out of curiosity and actually managed to win an auction for one of these: Casio E-115

I wonder what it’s like, probably gash but at least I can look flash untill I get bored of it.

I said last night my skin was really bad and I’ll not bore you with details of it, just tell you that I went to the doctors this morning, who prescribed me a interesting substance that is, she says, like vaseline but thicker and more greasy and on the whole, plain mingin.

I also went on a small adventure. Whan I say adventure, my definition may be slightly different to yours. When I say adventure I don’t mean I went for a trek through Africa, or I went hunting grizzly bears in Canada, or even took on a gang of neds and tried to take away their buckie. What I mean when I say I went on an adventure is that I went looking for Asda.

It’s not much I know but I enjoyed it, after all what I bought would have cost approximately 4327 times more at the nearest supermarkets to my flat, those being Sainsbury’s and Safeway. It also meant I got a nice walk along the canal.

I’ve edited this post far too much already, the original point of it has now been completely removed but the title still remains and I can’t think of anything else and if you don’t like it, then stick it. I’ll be walking alongside the canal if you want me.

that if you own a pig then you need a license to take it for walks in the UK.

Also, if you live in Scotland and somebody asks you if they can use your toilet then you are breaking the law if you refuse.

And my personal favourite, in the state of Kansas if two trains meet on the same track then neither can move untill the other has passed.

I’m off to bed now. I realise it’s been quiet round here recently but I don’t really have anything to say except that I’m tired, I have a sore back and my skin is really itchy. it could of course be much worse as my flat mate could tell you. in other news, over to the right you’ll see a fancy new BBC headlines thing, ya like it?