foolfillment: the blog


some advice

3:09 pm on the 26th of November, 2003

It isn’t best to wait untill your flatmate gets a letter in the post saying that had he not applied for his exemption he would now be required to pay several hundred pounds in council tax before you get around to applying for yours

Gerbils don’t like egg cartons. When egg cartons are placed on potentially unstable ground, sawdust for example, they take on properties not unlike a beartrap and will envelop your gerbil over and over untill you free the poor beast and rip the two halves apart.

Don’t attempt to go Christmas Shopping. At any time of year. Unless you are armed with
a) strong body odour or
b) a big stick to catch peoples legs with

Don’t write lists of bits of advice when you have an essay to write instead.

Comments

  1. Lordy

    I say write away. A view not shared with your mother, I’m sure.

  2. mother

    Some more advice

    1. Always look after your finances properly. Pay bill on time, fill out necessary forms promptly and don’t waste too much money on drink.

    2. Treat animals kindly. If you give them a toy, make sure it’s safe to play with first. Tear egg cartons in half before putting them in the cage, for example.

    3. Always remember to go Chritmas shopping. But remember its the thought the counts. You don’t have to spend to much on your father, for instance, as long as its a thoughtful gift.

    4. Always do your studying before you do start doing fun things like computer programming.

    5. Don’t take my name in vain, Lordy.

  3. The Lord Of All (except my mother)

    Drat!

    I hate it when I get told off online.

  4. Mum

    How many mothers do you have??? I’ve not sent anything before. your REAL Mummy

  5. Lordy

    Hmmm. Something fishy afoot. And given the suspicious absence of big brother, my finger is pointing directly at him.

  6. big bruv

    Not me. I was Christmas shopping.

    I just ignore advice. You know that.

  7. Stuart

    it’s funny you say that o’ eldest brother of mine, but the IP address that you used and the IP address of ‘mother’ bear a striking resmblance. And do you really think Mum knows the URL of her practice website? I think not!

  8. big bruv

    You think I don’t know that??

    Let me have my fun. Otherwise I’ll go back to playing God. Not done that for a while.

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