foolfillment: the blog

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you regarding the matter of your overproduced lager based product, it’s a bit nasty isn’t it?
The mere sight of that obnoxiously cheery yellow container is enough to turn my stomach and strengthen my resolve never to consume it with all it’s urine-tasting badness.

However, with regards to your advertising campaigns - which are obviously mightily successful - these are far more enjoyable than the product they are designed to promote. To impress upon you this fact I quote from a review of your ‘I could murder a pint’ advert :
“Advantages of the advert : It’s brilliant.
Disadvantages of the advert : It’s for one of the most vile alcoholic beverages ever fermented.”

Based on this, it is my proposal that your consumer-orientated company, J & R Tennent’s, should decline it’s interest in the non-tasty, non-refreshing, alcoholic-type beverage market and pass rights to the name on to the PR companies you use so that our lives continue to be brightened by them and no longer are threatened by the possibllity of walking into a pub to see the last cask ale tap being replaced with a cocky looking red ‘T’ on a yellow background.

Yours,
Stuart Meldrum